EDDIE
Oh hey, what’s up? (holds up bag) Check it out, what do you think?
RAVEN
You know what Eddie, I like it. Because it takes a lot of confidence to rock a man purse!
EDDIE
Oh, it’s not a man purse! It’s actually a cute little invitation to Alana’s Halloween party.
The three of them begin to walk over to Raven’s locker.
RAVEN
(annoyed) You got invited to Alana’s Halloween party? Oh! Just once I would like to see what all the hype is about. That is always the hottest party of the year.
EDDIE
Well, since I’m in, I’m sure you’ll be getting your pumpkins to.
RAVEN
No, let me tell you why. Because Alana’s hated me since the fourth grade, and by association, by girl Chels. Sorry about that girl.
CHELSEA
That’s all right. So how did Eddie get invited?
EDDIE
Brother’s got connexions. (Loca, Alana and Muffy walk up to them, and Loca punches Eddie on the shoulder in an act of friendship) in bruises! Hey … Loca, Muffy, Alana. Thanks for the invite.
CHELSEA
Oh, F.Y.I, Raven and I haven’t quite received our invitations yet.
ALANA
Muffy! Is she talking to me?
MUFFY
(to Raven and Chelsea) Alana feels, that if you have something to say, don’t.
Muffy and Alana walk to Raven and Chelsea’s side.
Muffy and Alana walk to Raven and Chelsea’s side.
RAVEN
Listen Alana. We wouldn’t want to come to your party even if you begged us! (Alana folds hands in attitude) … or asked us nicely. I mean, you can give us a little winky-wink between girls, (winks consistently) what’s up girl?
ALANA
You are weird, Baxter!
EDDIE
Well if my friends aren’t going, then I’m not going.
Loca restrains Eddie in a headlock.
LOCA
(threatening) Oh you’re going.
EDDIE
(hesitantly) I’ll bring the corn chips.
Loca pats Eddie on the shoulder as she, Alana and Mufffy walk away, Raven and Chelsea staring on in horror.
In the Chill Grill, Victor's restaurant, Raven and Chelsea are sitting opposite each other at a table.
EDDIE
(hesitantly) I’ll bring the corn chips.
Loca pats Eddie on the shoulder as she, Alana and Mufffy walk away, Raven and Chelsea staring on in horror.
***
OPENING CREDITS
"THAT'S SO RAVEN"
starring RAVEN
ORLANDA BROWN
KYLE MASSEY
ANNELIESE VAN DER POL
T'KEYAH CRYSTAL KEMAH
RONDELL SHERIDAN
(Yep, that’s me)
***
In the Chill Grill, Victor's restaurant, Raven and Chelsea are sitting opposite each other at a table.
CHELSEA
You know Rae, I don’t even think Alana’s party’s all that.
RAVEN
You know you’re probably right. It’s probably going to be noisy, crowded, the food is just going to taste nasty.
All this while Victor has been walking over with two plates of food.
VICTOR
I hope not, she’s having it here!
RAVEN
What!
VICTOR
Yeah, she rented out the whole place for Halloween. OK, enjoy your food. (places plates on table correspondingly) One regular burger, one vege burger.
RAVEN
Wait, wait a sec. You’re going to be working for Alana?
VICTOR
Well … yeah. I mean, my manager’s covering for me that night. You know, I’m actually going to go trick or treating with Cory like I do every year.
RAVEN
Dad. You know that Chelsea and I aren’t invited to this party.
VICTOR
I thought the whole school was invited. Everybody’s all walking around with those pumpkins … and I mean everybody! Kids you wouldn’t even think. Like … nerds … and dweeds … (comprehension melts on Raven and Chelsea’s faces) and doofus’… and geeks … and ur …
RAVEN
(cutting him off) Dad, we get the point!
VICTOR
Oh, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t know.
RAVEN
'S OK.
VICTOR
I’ll cancel it if you want me to.
RAVEN
No, it’s OK. Go ahead.
VICTOR
(joking, to Chelsea) Good, because I already cashed the cheque!
He walks away.
RAVEN
Chelsea! You know Alana picked my Dad’s place just to spite us.
Chelsea is munching on her burger, expression showing that her tastebuds are firing.
CHELSEA
I don’t know Rae, she might have picked this place because the food is actually good. You know. This vege burger is seriously the best burger I’ve ever had. It’s juicy, it’s delicious, you know. (sudden realization) It’s meat! It’s meat, oh my gosh, it’s meat! (both of them jump from their seats in shock).
RAVEN
Ew, ew, ew, ew! That’s terrible!
CHELSEA
I know!
RAVEN
I almost ate something healthy! Ewww!
CHELSEA
OK, hello, hi! I’m a vegetarian! I just ate a cow, a living animal, with… with a face!
RAVEN
(shrugging, dismissive) Chels, it was an accident.
CHESLEA
Well I know that, I know that, I know. It’s just … man, it tasted so good! I mean how can something so wrong taste so right!
Raven gives Chelsea a reassuring pat on the back.
***
That night, in the Baxter household, Victor walks over to the mirror in an evil scientist costume with a chemical tube, cackling evilly.
VICTOR
Whoa! Scared myself.
Cory then comes down the stairs in a “tough-guy” costume, with muscles fitted on his arms. He is also lifting a weight.
VICTOR
Well, well! Look at you tough guy. You been working out?
CORY
Back off, puny man!
VICTOR
Well don’t hurt yourself tough guy. Cause we are going trick-or-treating! Ha.
CORY
Dad, have a seat. (indicates couch)
They both take a seat.
VICTOR
What’s up son?
CORY
(seriously) I think it’s time we had … the talk.
VICTOR
(worried, calling) Tanya!
CORY
Not that talk! I think it’s time I went out trick or treating, with my friends.
VICTOR
(hurt) Oh. You mean you want to go without me. (faint shout) Tanya!
CORY
OK?
VICTOR
Yeah. Yeah, I guess it’s OK son. I mean, I always knew this day would come, I just wish it would’ve come before I put on this stupid costume.
The doorbell rings, and Cory answers in excitement, grabbing the sack from Victor’s knees.
CORY
That’s William!
William enters the room dressed as a remote control, holding a jack-o-lantern to collect his candy with.
WILLIAM
Guess what I am.
CORY
A remote control!
WILLIAM
And I’m totally functional. Please observe your TV.
He presses a button on his costume but instead of the television turning on, the electricity flicks out for a second, before turning back on.
WILLIAM
Oh-oh. I may need to rewire my circuitry.
Cory heads for the door, followed by William soon after.
CORY
Will you come on! There’s candy out there.
VICTOR
Have fun son.
Exit Cory and William. Tanya comes in with an equally crazy costume fitted on, holding a bowl of candy. She speaks in a mad voice and takes a seat next to Victor on the couch.
TANYA
Mister! I have the treats for the victims. I mean the children. Hehehe.
VICTOR
Great, I’ll help you hand them out.
TANYA
(returns to regular voice) Hey, aren’t you going trick or treating with Cory?
VICTOR
Nah, he decided to go trick or treating without me.
TANYA
Well tell you what. How about Mama takes you trick or treating.
VICTOR
Oh please. Don’t treat me like a child.
TANYA
Fine. We’ll stay home. (offers Victor candy)
VICTOR
(whining) No! I want to get my own candy. I meant, come on woman, let’s go!
***
Upstairs in Raven’s room, Chelsea is reciting a poem, wearing a badge with an image of a cow with a nought through the middle. Raven is pacing around in circles.
CHELSEA
(reciting) Cow. Cow. (feels badge) Where art though? You’re in my stomach now. Cow, cow. Tell me how. I accidenly made you chow.
RAVEN
Chels. I’ll tell you how. My daddy got the order mixed up… (shouting at stomach) so you got the cow! Forgive her now! Can we talk about something else somehow?
CHELSEA
Yeah, I guess you’re right. I mean you could always moan about not being invited to Alana’s party.
RAVEN
(clears throat) No Chels! We are not going to moan. We are not gonna’ whine. Say it with me (builds up) yeah! (Chelsea echoes) Yeah! Yeah! We are going to make our own fun right here and now, Yeah!
CHELSEA
Yeah, yeah we are right now!
RAVEN
(pointing at trunk in front of them) We are going to go through my Grandma Viv’s old trunk… yeah!
Their expressions of excitement drop.
RAVEN
OK, maybe I built it up a little bit to much.
CHELSEA
A little bit.
RAVEN
But it is really cool, check it out.
They kneel down beside the trunk and Raven opens the lid, taking objects out after the other.
RAVEN
Now, you know my Grandma Viv. She’s psychic to and she’s totally into all this paranormal stuff. So we got our tarot cards, that’s cool, huh.
CHELSEA
Oh Rae, look! A book of spells, potions and incantations! Oh, come on, let’s look at it!
Book in hands, Chelsea and Raven sit up on the bed and look through the pages.
RAVEN
Alright. (clears throat)
CHELSEA
Oh Rae, look, there’s spells for everything. (excited) Oh look, an all the round wishing spell! We could wish for whatever we want.
A grin forms on Raven’s face as an idea pops into her mind …
***
In the kitchen downstairs, Raven is stirring a green potion in a cauldron, with the spell book open.
RAVEN
OK, so what’s next?
CHELSEA
Oh, OK … feather of bird.
RAVEN
Oh …
Raven drops the feather into the cauldron.
CHELSEA
Three small stones.
RAVEN
(glares down cauldron, counts on fingers) One … two… three.
CHELSEA
Oh, oh, and one single strand of a maiden’s hair.
RAVEN
Girl, why are you looking at me, I just got my hair did.
CHELSEA
Well, come on, don’t look at me!
RAVEN
(distracting Chelsea, acts) Oh look, on top of the furniture!
CHELSEA
(excited, turns away) Oh! Where!
Raven pulls a hair from Chelsea’s head as she turns away.
CHELSEA
Ow!
The potion starts to bubble as Raven drops the hair in the cauldron.
RAVEN
(stammering) Ch … Chels … I think it’s working.
CHELSEA
Come on, come on, make a wish!
RAVEN
OK. I’ll do something simple. Oh! I wish we were invited to Alana’s party.
CHELSEA
Yes!
But nothing happens. Both Raven and Chelsea gesture movements at the potion to bubble, before looking over the book.
RAVEN
I’ll check this out. We’ve got to say the magic words.
CHELSEA
Oh!
RAVEN
Dar!
CHELSEA
(laughs) Nah. (to cauldron) Please and thank-you.
RAVEN
Please and thank-you?! From the book! Magic words. (reading from book) Bubble and boil oh magic stew. Make our special wish come true.
The potion begins to pop, and in excitement, Raven and Chelsea back away. The phone rings soon after, and Raven answers it.
RAVEN
Baxter residence.
On the other end is Alana, who is sitting next to Muffy on a window seat talking on the phone.
ALANA
Raven. It’s Alana. I don’t know why I’m saying this. But I want to invite you and Chelsea to my party.
RAVEN
(excited) We’re invited? We’re invited!
Muffy takes the phone from Alana.
MUFFY
… Yes… but if Alana weren’t in a weird, trance like state right now, she’d probably do this.
Muffy hangs up on Raven and waves her hand in front of Alana’s face.
RAVEN
The spell … I think it worked.
CHELSEA
Oh! Come on, let’s make another wish. Come on, come on!
The two of them move over to their positions next to the cauldron.
RAVEN
We want to be the most popular girls at the party.
CHELSEA
Oh, yes! And, have the best costumes.
RAVEN
Yes, yes! And … we want all eyes, to be on us.
CHELSEA
Yes.
RAVEN / CHELSEA
(chanting) Bubble and boil oh magic stew. Make our special wish come true!
The potion puffs up again and Raven and Chelsea scream in excitement. They look over it and jump up and down.
RAVEN / CHELSEA
It’s working, it’s working!
Unbeknown to her or Raven, Chelsea’s badge with the image representing "No Cow" drops into the cauldron as they jump up and down.
RAVEN
Oh, thank you so much. Oh, come on, we’ve got to get some costumes.
CHELSEA
Oh, you’re right, costumes!
Raven hurries up stairs, as Chelsea grabs the spell book and leaves it closed on the main bench. As they leave however, the badge that fell in begins to soak and melt in with the formula …
***
Raven's bedroom. Chelsea and Raven are preparing their costumes. Raven has a flannel rapped around her head as she grabs a costume from her bed decorated with hearts.
RAVEN
Chels, who am I? The Queen of...(indicates the hearts on outfit)
CHELSEA
Flannel?
RAVEN
Hearts, Chels! The Queen of Hearts!
CHELSEA
OK, but Rae, but if I don't get it, no one will! (pause) Oh, Rae, let's find me a costume now.
Raven takes off the towel around her head to reveal she has two cow ears in place of her normal ears.
RAVEN
OK.
CHELSEA
Rae, what are you wearing? Are those cow ears? (Raven rolls her eyes to see what Chelsea is referring to) That is so like you, holding out on the good costume!
RAVEN
What?
Raven runs over to the mirror and screams when she sees her reflection.
RAVEN [CONT'D]
(through screaming) Arghhh! I have cow ears!! I have cow ears!! How did I get cow ears!!
But Chelsea is laughing, unaware that it is no costume.
CHELSEA
(hits Raven playfully) Stop it!
RAVEN
It's not a costume, Chels!
CHELSEA
Oh, come on Rae, like I couldn't pull those ears off.
As Chelsea tugs at the ears, she pulls Raven from one end of the room to the other. Raven screams.
CHELSEA [CONT'D]
Oh, Rae, they moved, your cow ears moved!
Raven feels at her ears, and they move around wavily.
CHELSEA [CONT'D]
Whoa, how did you do that?
RAVEN
I didn't do it Chels! (runs to mirrror, screams) They're moving by themselves! Arghh! OK, Oh my goodness, we have to calm down.
CHELSEA
Yes, yes, you're right.
RAVEN
We have to sit down, and think about it.
CHELSEA
Good idea. (the two sit on Raven's bed) Ouch!
RAVEN
What?
CHELSEA
Gosh, you're sitting on my tail.
RAVEN
Sorry about that. (realize) Argh!!!
***
Raven and Chelsea are standing in front of Raven's mirror.
RAVEN
Man, why couldn't I just get, like...a zit, like everyone else?
CHELSEA
Hello, I have a zit and a tail!
Chelsea walks away a little and takes off the towel wrapped around her head, only to reveal that she too has cow ears.
RAVEN
(sheepishly) Yeah, Chelsea, I wouldn't worry about that zit.
CHELSEA
(runs over to mirror and screeches) Argh, Rae, I'm scared !
RAVEN
I know, me too...but do you know what I'm really afraid of?
CHELSEA
That you have a tail too?
RAVEN
You know me oh too well...
Raven feels around for her tail - and finds it...she and Chelsea ad-limb their worries before Eddie is heard calling out for them.
EDDIE (V/O calling from downstairs)
Rae, are you up there!!
RAVEN
It's Eddie.
CHELSEA
Well, w...what are we going to do, we can't let him see us like this.
RAVEN
Yeah, that's right...(calls) ...Eddie, we'll be right down!
CHELSEA
Yeah!
EDDIE (V/O)
Alright, just move your tails!
Raven and Chelsea share an ironic glare.
***
Cuts to downstairs in the kitchen - Eddie, in his wizard costume, is stirring around at the cauldron left on the bench. He takes a spoonful.
EDDIE
Oh, that's nasty, that tastes like feet. Disgusting. (takes another sip of it) ...Yep, that's definitely feet.
By now Raven and Chelsea are standing by the kitchen counter, their "cow" parts covered.
RAVEN
Hey, Eddie, how's it going?
CHELSEA
Yeah, man, how goes it?
EDDIE
So I heard you guys got invited to Alana's party and I thought that maybe we could all go over together.
RAVEN
(she and Chelsea laughing; Chelsea ad-limbing) Oh, that is hilarious...ha, ha, ha....NO.
EDDIE
You two are acting weirder than usual.
CHELSEA
Oh, well, it's not because we've changed or anything, in any way....every, every part of us is exactly as weird as it has always been.
Eddie turns away, and Raven's tail starts bouncing up.
CHELSEA
Oh, Rae, Rae, your tail!
Eddie looks up, in time to see the tail hidden.
RAVEN
Look, Eddie...it's last minute, man, and we really gotta' get our costumes together, so...buh-bye! (ushers Eddie to the door; Eddie sees the spell book on the bench)
EDDIE
Oh, wait, Rae, this book would go really good with my sorcerer's costume.
RAVEN
Oh, well, it's yours, take it, just mOOve...
They all look around at each other.
EDDIE
Did you just moo?
RAVEN
Me, moo? NoOOO....(covers her mouth and coughs)
EDDIE
Oh, whatever, I'll see ya'll there.
He exits. Raven and Chelsea watch him leave then run in a panic around the kitchen.
RAVEN
Oh, Chelsea, we really gotta' fix something, we did something horrible with that spell!
CHELSEA
I know. Maybe we put in the wrong ingredients.
RAVEN
Well check it out, girl, before I moo again!
CHELSEA
(at the cauldron; Raven pacing) Oh, OK....we were at the cauldron, wishing for a bunch of stuff...and urgh...and um...oh no.
Chelsea takes from the cauldron her 'cow' badge from earlier which is now dripping slime.
CHELSEA
Funny story. This...must have fallen in when we were making our wishes. (laughs)
RAVEN
(coldly) We wished we were cows? Why couldn't you have been wearing a Halle Berry button?
CHELSEA
Oh, I know, maybe if we check the book we can find a spell to undo the spell .
RAVEN
A spell check!
They run over to the counter only to find that Eddie has taken the book.
CHELSEA
Oh, no, no, no....Eddie has taken the book. We are definitely dOOmed.
RAVEN
No, we're not doomed now, Chelsea, alright...we just 'gotta, go to Alana's party and get the book back.
CHELSEA
OK, hello, Rae, we cannot walk into a roomful of people looking like cows!
RAVEN
We can on Halloween!
CHELSEA
TrOOOee...
***
Cory and William walk into the living room from the front door, amid an echo of alarms.
CORY
This was the worst Halloween EVER! Your costume set off every car alarm and home security system in the neighborhood!
WILLIAM
I wonder and wire...but no, you had to get your precious candy.
CORY
(holds up bag) What candy? Look what we got. (empties bag) A stupid pack of breath mints!
WILLIAM
(with hope) And three pennies!
CORY
They threw those at us.
Tanya and Victor, in costume, enter through the front door.
TANYA
Make the noise stop, master. (Victor closes the door) Thank you.
VICTOR
Muhahahahah! Success, success! (empties all his candy onto the coffee table)
CORY
Oh, snap!
TANYA
Argh, argh, argh.
CORY
What argh, argh, argh?
TANYA
That's your father's candy. You need to ask permission.
CORY
Dad?
VICTOR
Well, looks like you two did have a rough night. Go for it!
CORY
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
He and William dive for the pile of candy. Cory takes a bite and his face turns sour.
TANYA
Is something wrong with the candy?
CORY
No...it just doesn't taste as sweet.
TANYA
Maybe because you didn't get it with your father.
CORY
No...it's sugar free. (approaches Victor) ...But dad, I did miss trick or treating with you. I'm sorry...can we do it next year?
VICTOR
Next year? While all that candy's still out there? Come on!
Victor runs out, followed by Cory, who stops at the door.
CORY
Come on, William!
WILLIAM
Really?
CORY
Just don't touch yourself.
He holds up his palm to signify his agree and goes after Cory.
***
At the Chill Grill - Alana's party. The restaurant is full of dancing teens, with loud music in the background. Raven and Chelsea pop their heads in, which are now guised like cows, and blend in by dancing. When they look at each other and realize their faces are now cows, they both point at each other and scream. They lean in to touch each other's noses.
RAVEN
We have noses!...cow noses!
CHELSEA
Actually, Rae, technically they're called snouts.
RAVEN
Whatever! This is getting worse. We just have to find Eddie and get that spell.
CHELSEA
Yeah, you're right.
They both go in opposite directions.
RAVEN
Hey, Chels--
Raven looks over and sees that Chelsea is crunching at a boys' straw hat.
RAVEN
Chels! (drags Chelsea away) Listen to me. You are not a cow. You are a human being!
CHELSEA
Yeah, yeah, I know Rae, but that was some good hat.
RAVEN
Listen, let's just get some refreshments while we wait for Eddie.
Raven goes for some plastic cups, but they go flying everywhere because of her 'cow' hoofs.
RAVEN
(amid dramatic whine) ...I have hoofs. Chelsea!
Raven looks over and sees that Chelsea is bobbing at the punch. Chelsea looks up with her soaked face.
CHELSEA
Oh, sorry Rae, just needed something to wash down that hat. Where did you get that gum?
RAVEN
(disgusted) It's not gum. It's cud!
CHELSEA/RAVEN
Ewghh!!
They see Eddie going over to a table.
CHELSEA
Oh, Eddie, Eddie, we need that book!
RAVEN
(Chelsea is looking through the book) Hurry up and find that spell, hurry up!
CHELSEA
OK, hold on Rae, I've only got two hoofs.
EDDIE
Hold on, let me guess, you two are cows. That's slick!
RAVEN
It's trOOOe...we really are cows!
EDDIE
Man, get out of here.
RAVEN
(pushes Eddie out of the way) Did you find it? (Chelsea has been eating it) Yess...and it was gOOOd.
At the front, Muffy is speaking into the microphone.
MUFFY
People, may I have your attention please. (they keep dancing and Loca steals the microphone)
LOCA
Yo, cut the noise!
Things halt.
LOCA
(sweetly) Thank you. (Raven moos again)
Muffy takes back the microphone.
MUFFY
OK. It's time for the results of the costume contest. So, before we announce who won first place, which we all know will be Alana...(Alana turns to reveal her costume)...just for giggles...let's see who came in second. (opens envelope and is horrified) Alana?
There is a gasp from the audience, and Alana runs to the front.
ALANA
What! This is my party, I always win! (speaks Spanish)
MUFFY
Alana is super-angry...in Spanish.
ALANA
Well, if I'm second...then who's first? ...Raven and Chelsea?
Everyone has eyes on Raven and Chelsea who are now fully transformed into cows, with only shades of their hair to signify which is which. The crowd applauds. Loca, Alana and Muffy look depressed.
RAVEN
Well, we got our wish...
CHELSEA
Yep, all eyes are on us...
RAVEN
We might as well milk it.
As they moo one more time, a zoom in on Raven's eye reveals the events of the episode to be a vision! ...cuts back to the Chill Grill, earlier on in the afternoon, where Raven and Chelsea have just got their meals. Chelsea is about to bite into her burger, but Raven stops her.
RAVEN
No, don't eat that! I just had a vision.
CHELSEA
OK, save it Rae, I'm hungry.
RAVEN
No, no, no! It's meat. (switches burgers) My dad accidently switched the burgers.
CHELSEA
Wow...man. Do you know what would have happened if I had've eaten that?
RAVEN
Actually, yes Chels. It was in my vision, we had ears and tails and snouts and m...m...m...m...
CHELSEA
Rae, Rae, Rae...relax, OK! I didn't actually eat it. Man, don't have a cow.
Chelsea takes a bite from the burger and Raven gives a suspicious eye after checking it again.
***
Victor and Tanya, still in costume, are sitting on the couch.
TANYA
Master...the house is quiet. (Victor looks up) The children are sleeping. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
VICTOR
I believe I am.
They lean in on each other, but stop as they get just close enough...
VICTOR/TANYA
Candy!
They both chuckle, pouring the contents of their candy bags onto the coffee table and start to unwrap them.
RUN END CREDITS
That's So Raven is copyrighted material of the Walt Disney Company.
No infringement was intended through the transcription of this episode originally written by Michael Carrington.
More COMING SOON ...
