2x20 - Numb and Numb-er

Cory runs downstairs, into the Baxter kitchen, and erases everything off the whiteboard calendar which is on the fridge. As he takes some milk out, he steps back when he finds that Raven has been watching him.

CORY
Whoa...

RAVEN
What'd you just erase?

CORY
Nothing, I was just cleaning the calendar.

RAVEN
(gasps) You just cleaned off your dentist appointment for today!

CORY
(anxious) I don't have a dentist appointment, do you see it on the calendar?

RAVEN
That's because you just erased it.

CORY
Please don't remind dad.

Cory walks over and takes a seat at the table with his bowl of cereal.

RAVEN
Please, Cory, I've got better things to do than worry about your schedule.

Victor comes walking down into the kitchen with a briefcase.

VICTOR
Good morning, everybody.

RAVEN
Good morning dad, Cory has a dentist appointment today.

VICTOR
Really? There's nothing on the calendar. Wait a minute, there's nothing on the calendar! How am I supposed to know when your mom gets back from grandma's?

RAVEN
Oh, that's Cory's fault, he erased everything so you would forget that he had a dentist appointment today.

CORY
You know what, dad? I'm not going to be able to go today. You're shooting that commercial at the Chill Grill and I promised to be there for you.

VICTOR
And you will, as soon as you get back from that dentist appointment.

CORY
Can't I go when mom back from grandma's?

VICTOR
That would be nice, but I don't know when your mom's getting back from grandma's, because you erased it!

RAVEN
(to Cory) Smooth move.

VICTOR
(approaching Cory) Look, Cory...don't you think you're old enough not to have you mom come down and hold your hand at the dentist?

CORY
No...

VICTOR
Come on son, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Raven walks over and grabs up a kitchen utensil from the jar.

RAVEN
Yeah, except for...(waving the utensil in Cory's face)...zzzzz!!!

CORY
(screaming, clawing at Raven) Stop, you're freaking me out!

Raven backs away, laughing.

VICTOR
Come on Cory, stop freaking out, you haven't even had a cavity before. And besides, us Baxter's have excellent teeth.

Victor and Raven's teeth shine as they smile at Cory.

CORY
I don't care, I just hate going to the dentist. (walks out into the lounge room)

RAVEN
(to Victor; as Cory is gone) Well, luck dragging him down there today.

VICTOR
Aargh, you know, Rae, I've got a few stops to make before this commercial thing today so I was gonna' ask you to drag him...?

RAVEN
Me?
VICTOR
Please.

RAVEN
...Fine...

VICTOR
Thanks, Rae, and look...you know he's a little nervous about going to the dentist, so please take it easy on him. And no (pointing at his teeth) zzzz! (calling to Cory) Cory, Rae's taking you to the dentist.

As Victor walks into the lounge room, Raven turns away, transfixed into a vision...

***

In Raven's vision, we see Dr Horn, in his dental office, looking down upon a patient.

DR HORN
Someone's got their first cavity.

***

Cutting back to the present, Cory comes back into the kitchen, placing his bowl on the counter.

CORY
You're taking me to the dentist?

RAVEN
(going to Cory's side) Yes, and don't worry little bro. Everything's gonna' be OK.

CORY
You're being nice...(backs away)...Dad!! She's freaking me out again!! (runs away)

***

OPENING CREDITS

***

Raven walks through the entrance corridor to the dentist.

RAVEN
Cory come on, there is nothing to be afraid of. Come on.

Cory reluctantly steps through into the waiting room.

CORY
It's a torture chamber!

...but all we see is little kids playing around with toys, their parents on the seats. Cory turns to run for the exit, but Raven blocks his way.
RAVEN
Come on Cory, now just stop it. You know Dr Horn, he's a great dentist and he loves kids. Now relax and I'll sign you in.

Raven turns away to the reception desk, while Cory goes and sits down at the kiddy table. He looks up and sees that the girl sitting opposite him is missing two of her top teeth when she smiles at him...

CORY
(gasps) Look what they did to you!

RAVEN
All right, Cory, you're next...

But as she looks over, she finds that Cory is running and hiding under the seats in the waiting area.

RAVEN
Cory! Cory, stop it! Sit, Cory, sit! (to the adults) I'm sorry, he is usually so obedient. Stay!

CORY
(crouched beside Raven) I'm not going in there. (crawls and hides under the kiddy table) You can't make me, you can't make me!

RAVEN
Cory, now, argh...I hate to bust your bubble, but argh, (sits on a small seat), this is about the worst hiding place that you could find.

CORY
(a whimper in his tone) I know...but it's the only one I've got...

***

In the empty Chill Grill restaurant, Victor is panning around the room, as Eddie and Chelsea come in carrying the equipment he needs for shooting the commercial.

EDDIE
Mr B, why didn't you hire actors and professional crew to do you commercial?

VICTOR
Because those guys are expensive and you will work for French fries. (holds up a plate of fries)

Eddie and Chelsea take a chip each.

CHELSEA
You know, if they weren't so crispy and delicious I'd be outta' here.



VICTOR
You know to be honest with you, I only rented this equipment for a couple of hours, so I need you guys to be back on the set in five minutes. Costumes are in the kitchen.

EDDIE
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...you didn't say anything about costumes.

VICTOR
No costumes, no French fries.

CHELSEA
Man!

Chelsea and Eddie turn for the kitchen. Eddie stops in his tracks and reaches back for a fry, but Victor holds the tray back.

EDDIE
(walking off) Why you got to be so stingy?

***

Eddie and Chelsea come out of the kitchen in their costumes. Eddie is dressed like a giant ice cube, and Chelsea is dressed up like a steak grill.

EDDIE
What exactly are we supposed to be, Mr B?

VICTOR
Eddie, you're an ice cube. That's the chill, and Chelsea, you're the grill, added together the two of you are the Chill Grill.

CHELSEA
Yeah, well, Mr B...I don't eat meat, and I don't really wear it, either.

EDDIE
Oh, I don't know Mr B, I'm not really feelin' this.

VICTOR
Oh, come on guys, don't be so negative. Let's just do one rehearsal, and it'll all make sense, OK?

Victor hands each of them a script. He steps back and calls out with his bullhorn.

VICTOR
(through bullhorn) And, action!

EDDIE
(non-enthusiastically) Aargh...if you like chillin'...

CHELSEA
And you like grillin'...


EDDIE
Then come to the Chill Grill. Where you chill...

CHELSEA
While we grill...what?

EDDIE
This is lame.

Victor has been filming the rehearsal. He stops filming and puts down the camera.

VICTOR
Oh come on guys, don't you get it? It's a play on words. Chill, Grill.

CHELSEA
Actually, you're just kinda' saying chill and grill a lot, it's not really that playful.

EDDIE
Man, you should really fire the guy who wrote this.

VICTOR
I am the guy that wrote this.

CHELSEA
Oh, OK, well you are so fired. (hands him the script)

VICTOR
Like you could come up with something better.

CHELSEA
Oh, well give me a second. (gasp) Oh, I got it! I got it.

***

Back at the dental centre in the waiting room, Raven is having a hard time trying to get Cory into his appointment.

RAVEN
Cory, will you please get from underneath that table, you are setting a bad example for all the other children.

A lot of the other children seem to be cowering under their seats as well. Dr Horn comes out of his office.

DR HORN
(sing-song voice) Cory Baxter! All aboard! Tute, tute! (looking around) Oh, looks like we have some unhappy passengers.

RAVEN
Sorry, Dr. Horn. I think Cory's train got stuck in a tunnel.

DR HORN
(crouching down) Cory, I need to check your teeth to make sure they're healthy.
CORY
No you don't, we Baxter's have excellent teeth.

DR HORN
Oh Cory, the train is on a very tight schedule.

RAVEN
Which means, you need to get your caboose from underneath that table.

DR HORN
Come on, be a good little engine. Say it with me, I think I can, I think I can!

CORYI don't think I can, I don't think I can!

RAVEN
(threatening) I think you'd better.

She takes the small table off of Cory.

CORY
(getting to his feet) OK, OK...

DR HORN
There you go. Come on, Cory. Next stop examination station! Tute, tute!

RAVEN
Tute, tute!

The three of them walk into the examination room.

***

DR HORN
See, there's nothing to be afraid of.

A mechanical noise echoes, Cory screams and hides behind a plant.

DR HORN
Cory relax, they're just doing some work on the street. (to Raven) This is the worst case of dental phobia I've seen in a long time.

RAVEN
Really, what do you do?

DR HORN
Well, it usually helps if the patient can see someone else being examined.

RAVEN
Really?


DR HORN
Yeah, someone close to them.

RAVEN
Interesting.

DR HORN
Mm-hm. Often a blood relative.

RAVEN
Mmm, do tell.

DR HORN
A sister.

RAVEN
I see.

DR HORN
Named Raven.

RAVEN
You lost me.

Raven turns to walk away, but Dr Horn pushes her onto the examination chair.

DR HORN
Get on the chair, Raven. (Raven is pushed onto the chair) Come on, show Cory this is no big deal.

RAVEN
Right...(the chair is lowered) See, Cory, it's like a ride, wee...wee...

DR HORN
OK now Cory, I'm going to tap Raven's teeth with this little tool. Won't hurt a bit.

RAVEN
Not at all...because it's just a teeth tapping tool.

DR HORN
That's right. Open wide. (Raven opens her mouth and he starts tapping around with the tool. Cory is now watching) Good, good. Good...

RAVEN
Ow!

DR HORN
Was that a little sensitive?

RAVEN
Just a little. But it's still fun, see Cory, wee, wee...

Dr Horn looks around in Raven's mouth a little more.

DR HORN
Someone's got their first cavity.

RAVEN
Me? No, it was supposed to be Cory.

DR HORN
I'll double check.

He pokes the tool back onto Raven's tooth...

RAVEN
Ow!

DR HORN
No, it's you. (stands up) Alright Cory, do you mind if I take Raven first?

CORY
No. Go nuts.

DR HORN
I'll be right back. I need to get a bigger drill bit. (walks out)

RAVEN
(calling after him) Right! A bigger drill bit, because the bigger, the better, doctor!

Raven has got up from her seat and followed him to the door...closing it and locking it behind him.

CORY
What are you doing? Dr Horn can't get back in.

RAVEN
Exactly. Nobody's gonna' be drilling my grill, please...

The mechanical noise from outside on the street sounds again, and Raven and Cory scream, latching onto each other...

***

Raven is pacing around in the room, Cory has his ears leaned up against the locked door.

RAVEN
OK, we gotta' figure out a way to get out of here.

CORY
I thought you said there was nothing to be afraid of.

RAVEN
Oh, yeah, that's when he was gonna' be drilling on your teeth.

CORY
What do you mean drilling my teeth?

RAVEN
Listen, I had a vision that someone was going to get cavity...and I thought it was you.

CORY
Why didn't you tell me?

RAVEN
'Cause I didn't want you to go all crazy and freak out on me.

CORY
Yeah, I know what you mean. Like, lock the dentist out of his office?

RAVEN
OK, I'll admit it. When it comes to the dentist I'm just as a big a wimp as you are.

CORY
Bigger!

RAVEN
OK, bigger...now will you please be quiet and let me figure out a way to get us out of here?

Raven goes over and opens the door...only to hear Dr Horn talking to the dental hygienist...

DR HORN (V/O)
Nurse, prepare the novocaine needle for Raven. That cavity of hers is a deuce!

Raven screams and closes the door shut again, backing away to Cory.

RAVEN
A deuce! Boy, I got a deuce...

On the other side of the door, Dr Horn approaches and starts trying to turn the handle open.

DR HORN
Who locked this door? Raven, Cory...tute, tute! The conductor needs to check your ticket.

RAVEN
We gotta' get (???) this train. (starts ushering Cory to the back door) I don't care, just as long as it's not in here!

Raven and Cory walk into the next room and close the door behind them. Jessie, another of Dr Horn's patients, is on the examination seat, laid back.

JESSIE
Who are you?

RAVEN
(after a pause) Hi, how you doin'?
JESSIE
How am I doing? I've been sitting in this chair for twenty minutes with my mouth open, how do you think I'm doing?

By now, Raven and Cory have crossed the room and are now standing either side of Jessie.

CORY
Well maybe you should try closing it.

JESSIE
Does Dr Horn know you're here? (scarce expressions painted on Raven and Cory's faces) DR HORN!

RAVEN
(covers Jessie's mouth) Ssshhh! (looks at folder) Jessie, girl, please now...listen, alright, Dr Horn was busy, so he sent us.

JESSIE
You two are dentists?

RAVEN
Yes, we are. (chucks a coat to Cory and puts one on herself) In fact, I am Dr Think-It-Fast, (laughs), how you doin'?, and this is my associate, Do-As-I-Say...do as I say.

JESSIE
He's a dentist? He's just a kid.

RAVEN
Exactly, Jessie. And if you work hard in school and brush and floss your teeth every day, you could be one too.

JESSIE
Can I get my check up, please? I've got a soccer game.

RAVEN
OK, OK...let's see what we've got here (pushes a trolley of tools towards her), now don't be scared, don't be scared.

JESSIE
I'm not scared. Only babies are afraid of the dentist.

RAVEN
Who are you calling a baby?

CORY
Yeah, 'cause I'm a big boy! I mean, I'm a dentist. A big dentist...

RAVEN
OK, just ignore him. Let's start, let's start, OK, are you ready? Open wide...open wide, let's see...

Raven and Cory both lean in to see Jessie's mouth full of teeth, and hit their heads against each other.

RAVEN / CORY
Ow! Ow..

RAVEN
(to Cory) Let me look first, doctor, let me look first. (turns on the light and leans in) Let's see...oh, nasty...check up's over.

Raven turns off the light and backs off.

JESSIE
I want Dr Horn. (shouting) Dr Horn!

RAVEN
(covering Jessie's mouth) Ssshh! Didn't we talk about this before, Jessie? Dr Horn is busy, that was just the first part of the exam, listen. The next part is where, um, you know, we have to look at your teeth, examine, and you know...start doing stuff to 'em.

JESSIE
Shouldn't you be wearing gloves?

Raven does a quick, annoyed mock impression of Jessie's perky attitude.

RAVEN
Yes, we should! Thank you very much, for reminding me. Gloves are very important, see you will become a dentist as well, very good. You've been here before.

Raven is putting on her gloves, while Cory is at the other side blowing air into his to make it like a balloon.

RAVEN
...stop fooling, doctor, focus! (pause) Alright, let's see what we've got here...ha, ha! (pulls over a tray of tools and uses them correspondingly) Now, let's get started...let's see...oh, that's the air...I could use that for later...oh, and that's the water! Oh, I know what that is, that's the thing that sucks the water off you...(the tube clings to her chin) Doctor, help me get it off. Turn it down or something...

Cory tries pressing a button on the machine, but the suction only grows stronger...

RAVEN
Oh, help me!!

Eventually, Cory pulls the tube off of Raven, and she flies back landing on another tool on a bench...

RAVEN
Ow, what is that...(steps away; and pulls out a needle from her leg)......oh, novocaine...

JESSIE
That was supposed to make my mouth numb.
Raven struggles as she goes to move towards Jessie, Cory runs to her side and helps her.

CORY
Dr Think-It-Fast, are you OK?

RAVEN
Yeah, yeah, I'm cool...I just can't feel my leg, but everything is under control...

JESSIE
What kind of dentist pokes herself with a needle?

Raven quickly does, under her breath, another mock of Jessie's perky attitude.

RAVEN
(pulling together some carts to help her lean) Listen, Jessie, I graduated top of my class at teeth fixing school, thank you very much.

Not a few seconds later, Raven is unable to balance herself anymore and falls to the ground...Jessie shakes her head.

***

The empty Chill Grill – Eddie, Chelsea and Victor are sitting at a table, Chelsea distributing her script.

CHELSEA
OK, now since we all agreed that Mr B's commercial, um...stunk on ice, it's...

VICTOR
Not all of us.

EDDIE
Well, two out of three.

CHELSEA
OK, here's the concept, you guys. It's a soap opera, that takes place right here in the Chill Grill, and it starts with a beautiful (???) in red...

Cuts to Chelsea's vision of the commercial – Chelsea enters the Chill Grill, wearing an elegant red dress, speaking with a posh, British accent. The scene is dramatic. Every time a character says the restaurant's name, a dramatic key on the piano is played.

CHELSEA
Oh, it so good to be back at...the CHILL GRILL. (starts pacing in) And after loosing my memory and marrying my eighth husband...or was it my ninth?

A book on a table is being opened...


NARRATOR (V/O)
And now today's episode of...As the Chill Grills.

Eddie, dressed up with a blonde wig, enters the restaurant holding up a tennis racquet.

EDDIE
Fury!

CHELSEA
(running to Eddie's side) Beth! My tennis instructor...(gasp)...or are you, Brad, my son?

EDDIE
I'm your evil half-brother...Blaze. (indicating a table) Let's sit, catch up, and enjoy some of the marvellous food they serve here at the...the CHILL GRILL.

CHELSEA
(as they sit down) Yes, let's. I may have forgotten a lot of things, but not how delicious and wonderful the food is here at...the CHILL GRILL.

EDDIE
It is a shame our half-brother was lost at sea. He used to love the patty melts here at...the CHILL GRILL.

VICTOR (V/O)
I still do!

Victor comes through the front door dressed in a sailor's mess, a life circle around his neck topped with braids of seaweed.

EDDIE
Half father?

VICTOR
Half children?

CHELSEA
(she and Eddie start approaching him) You're not lost at sea?

EDDIE
Half father, how did you survive?

VICTOR
Well, half children. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought of returning for the delicious patty melts and the dollar-ninety-nine side salads at...the CHILL GRILL.

EDDIE
Wait a minute! Our real half-father hated side salads!

Eddie takes a dramatic gasp and steps back. Chelsea throws her whole body back, just as dramatically.


CHELSEA
That's right! He always ordered onion rings.

EDDIE
You, sir, are an imposter!

They all go cross-eyed at each other...cuts back to the present, Chelsea, Eddie and Victor at a table in the Chill Grill.

CHELSEA
So, what do you guys think? Oh, but before you answer, you should know that when faced with rejection I go to my sad place.

EDDIE
Well start packing and take this with you. (holds out the script at Chelsea)

CHELSEA
What? Come on! At least it was better than chillin' and grillin'.

VICTOR
What do you mean? Yours was ten times worse than my idea.

CHELSEA
What? No it wasn't. Eddie, who's idea was worse?

EDDIE
Well, if it'll make you feel any better, both of ya'll stunk the same.

VICTOR
OK, Mr Big Shot, it's your turn, let's see what you've got.

CHELSEA
Yeah.

EDDIE
(standing) OK brother, well I'm gonna' need ten dancers, a smoke machine, and a limo with a hot tub. (chuckles)

VICTOR
You got me, Chelsea and a (???) lamb.

EDDIE
I can make it work.

***

Down at the dental examination room, Raven is at Jessie's side playing with her hair, making it stick up.

RAVEN
Your hair looks so cute!

JESSIE
What does this have to do with my teeth?

RAVEN
Well, if your hair looks cute, no one'll care about your nasty little teeth.

Cory comes walking in.

CORY
Um, Doctor-Think-It-Fast, I think it's time for us to meet Doctor-Let's-Get-Out-Of-Here.

RAVEN
Oh, OK, thank you doctor...(to Jessie)...argh, listen, you're all finished, and we'll see you in six months.

CORY
(as Raven starts to walk off) Is your leg still numb?

RAVEN
No, I think it's all...(but before she knows it, she looses her balance and trips over on the floor)...oh...doctor, help me up!

CORY
I thought you said I was Doctor Do-As-I-Say.

RAVEN
Then do as I say, and help me up!

CORY
(giving Raven a hand up) Get up.

Raven leans on Cory as they head for the next door...but Jessie calls after them.

JESSIE
Hey, wait a minute. I love my hair. Where can I get this gel?

RAVEN
It's toothpaste, (to Cory), run!

***

Raven and Cory are walking as quickly as they can out of the dental room into the waiting room, Raven heavily relying on Cory for support.

RAVEN
Move, move, move!

But Dr Horn comes out after them...

DR HORN
Hold it, you two!

Cory holds his hands up in the air, as if to say he's innocent, leaving Raven with no support, she falls to the ground.


RAVEN
Oh, snap.

Raven crawls her way underneath the kiddy table that Cory was hiding under before.

DR HORN
Raven. (crouches down) There's nothing to be afraid of.

RAVEN
Who's afraid?

By now, Cory is crouching at the opposite side of the table.

DR HORN
Raven, I know you cam here to calm Cory down, to set a good example...you can still do that.

Raven looks up at Cory, and Cory looks down at Raven.

***

Raven is down on the dental chair, Dr Horn has just finished doing his job. Raven's lip is obviously numb.

DR HORN
All done. Now was that so bad?

RAVEN
(lips are numb) I didn't feel a thing.

DR HORN
Most people don't feel a thing.

RAVEN
There was nothing to be afraid of.

DR HORN
Of course there's nothing to be afraid of. Most people don't realize tha the fear is worse than the actual treatment. You can go ahead and rinse, Raven.

Raven does exactly that, but when she is gargling the water around in her mouth, it comes spilling out of her numbed lip.

RAVEN
(embarrassed) My bad.

DR HORN
Actually, it's my bad. I forgot to tell you the numbness in your mouth will wear off in a few hours.

Raven gets herself up from the seat, and struggles to balance...Dr Horn runs to her side.



DR HORN
And your leg...(takes her over to a seat) There you go, Raven.

Cory stares at his sister, as Dr Horn walks to his side.

DR HORN
You ready?

CORY
If Raven can do it, then so can I.

DR HORN
OK.

Cory gets himself up in position on the seat. Dr Horn raps a napkin around Cory's neck.

DR HORN
There you go.

As Dr Horn turns away to get ready for the examination, Raven takes hold of Cory's hand.

DR HORN
(shining on the light) Open wide. That'a boy...

Cory opens his mouth appropriately as Dr Horn leans on in.

***

Raven, Victor and Cory are sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner. Raven is brushing her teeth with an electric toothbrush. Victor and Cory stare at her.

RAVEN
What?

VICTOR
Rae, the dentist said to brush after every meal, not every bite.

RAVEN
I just wanna' make sure that the next time I go in for my check up I don't have any cavities.

CORY
Like me, dad. (smiles at Victor, his teeth sparkle)

Eddie and Chelsea come walking in through the front door, Eddie is holding his laptop.

EDDIE
OK, I finished editing my version of the commercial, now it was a little bit long, so I had to cut it down, ya'll. But don't worry, I left in all the good stuff.

Eddie and Chelsea take their seats around the table. Eddie opens up his laptop and hits play. On-screen Eddie is approaching the Chill Grill.

ONSCREEN EDDIE
I know what you all are wondering. You're wondering, where does Eddie T go out to eat? (walks into the restaurant) Eddie T goes to his favourite restaurant, where the chef, is a personal friend of mine.

Onscreen Eddie goes to shake hands with Victor...

VICTOR
Here I come, here I come. (but Victor's appearance has been edited out...) Where'd I go? Where'd I go?

Onscreen Eddie is now seated at a table.

ONSCREEN EDDIE
And the waitresses here are amazing.

We see Chelsea's hand place a plate on Eddie's table.

CHELSEA
Here's my big song, here's my big song!

But it cuts to onscreen Eddie wiping down his face after finishing his meal...

ONSCREEN EDDIE
Mmmm...and the food is delicious!

CHELSEA
Well I guess you cut out my big dance number then, too. Yeah...

ONSCREEN EDDIE
This is the place to be. (winks and laughs at the camera)

Real life Eddie chuckles the same way before closing up his laptop.

EDDIE
So what do ya'll think, you diggin' it?

CHELSEA
Eddie, we weren't even in it.

VICTOR
Yeah, you didn't even mention the restaurant. It was all about you. (grabs up the dinner plates and heads for the sink)

CHELSEA
Yeah.

EDDIE
Well what do you expect, when you pay with French fries?

RAVEN
Hey, hey, people! Why are we fighting when we could be flossing?

Raven distributes a small string of floss to Eddie, Cory and Chelsea. Shrugging, they all start flossing.

***

That's So Raven © Walt Disney. No infringement intended.